Last Friday, September 5, 2003 I'd written an email sadly reporting the death the day before, of my mother, Janet Lividini. In my own grief, I wasn't able to do more than spread the word and tell about her death to friends, family, friends she'd made and old friendships she'd rekindled thanks to the Internet. My heart was too heavy to do little else but alert loved ones, participate in planning funeral arrangements with my family members and the wonderful compassionate people at Casterline Funeral Home. in Northville, Michigan and deal with my own loss. Today I am ready to do more. Today, I want to celebrate her life.
Mom is survived by her husband, my Dad, Leonello Lividini, two children, myself, Davonna and my brother, David, the father of her two grandchildren Torine and Marina. She also leaves behind her mother, my grandmother, Wonda Lemonovich.
Her memory is vibrantly preserved by her closest "adopted" kids; Tom White, his wife, Tracy and their son Jeff; John Scully; Scott Tower; Jeff Traylor and his wife Jeanne; Kelly Rickman, her husband Carl and her children Brooke, Rachel and Stephen; Nancy Palkoski and her children Heather, Eddie and Joey.
Mom was born July 20, 1945, in Northville Michigan. My Grandfather, Alexander Lemonovich, Papa, was serving in the Pacific during World War II at the time of her birth and didn't meet his daughter until months after she was born. I have a cherished photo of that first meeting of Grandma - Wonda (Sutton) Lemonovich, and Papa holding Mom as a baby. I have often heard the story of Mom and Papa "picking flowers for mommy" and coming home with the tops of the flowers gone! Mom always loved the edible flower, violets!
I recall fondly the story of Christmas when she was 11. It had been to what the only child of an only child was used to, a nice but smaller than usual Christmas. Mom had asked for a transistor radio that she knew was a big request and wasn't necessarily counting on. There was one last gift, a gift that Grandma and Papa had gone in on with her maternal grandparents, my Great Grandparents Virgil Sutton (Dad-dad) and Opal Sutton (Mums). Mums handed her that last gift and as she handed it to her, before she even had it completely in her hands let alone opened she said "Here, open your radio!" It was just an overexcited presentation on her part, but it was the reason that from a very young age and for the rest of Mums' life I was told "never tell your Great Grandmother a secret you really do want kept!"
Mom went to and graduated from Redford High School. I heard stories from her about the gifted students and being one of "Divine's Darlings." As a gifted high school student herself, her expectations were high for Dave and me in high school. I know as frustrating as meeting those expectations were for me, they were responsible for my success in college. I also heard about the teenaged friendships and the names Dell, Carol, Kareenie, Pudge and Jimmy Van among others. She told me the importance of choosing your company wisely and cherishing true friends no matter how long between the opportunities to see them. I know she was in contact still or again with many friends from those years on the Internet and I was overcome with a warm feeling of a lesson well learned when I realized how many of my friends from my high school showed up to pay their respects after reading the obituary in the paper.
"Mom is always right." That was a phrase she never spoken herself, but one my brother and I had a way of "knowing." Sometimes a phrase uttered in sarcasm and disgust, sometimes one revered in amazement. Whether it was Dave hitting a post riding his bike where she said not to or me not heeding the warning "If you say that to your father that way, you'll be causing a fight," we had an uncanny knack of proving her right. She also told Dave that he was a talented entertainer and encouraged him to use that ability to make people happy. She told me that I had great writing and organizing ability and would be able to use those gifts all my life if I developed them. Dave still entertains with his band today, and I am the usual coordinator of all of the events and travel for my family of friends. I guess Mom always being right is not such a bad thing after all.
I was fortunate that Mom was also my good friend even through my turbulent teens. She and I shared many things including Shakespeare, the importance of a good cup of coffee with a long talk, and baseball. In 1994 she and I started to "collect" ballparks. Mom saw baseball at 13 different Major League Parks and 9 Minor League Parks. We traveled often strictly for the purpose of seeing an out of town game, often just us, but many times in group outings with our mutual friends. We joked that sitting out a rain delay got you better seats at the ballpark in heaven. I hope she is enjoying her favorite player, Roberto Clemente, from the front row!
She and my Dad celebrated their wedding anniversary every year with a weekend on the Detroit River for the American Power Boat Association Gold Cup races. In addition to their passion for chasing lighthouses together, they were both great fans of the hydroplanes and in fact had seen the races from different sides of the Detroit River the Gold Cup before they'd met. The races were scheduled late this year and Mom was feeling poorly, but there was really no way anyone was going to stop her from managing to get to that one special event. They got to share one last Gold Cup together. I'm sure that Dad will always cherish that they had that.
As a sports fan, Mom didn't do too bad. On top of the countless Gold Cup finals, she was at game 3 of the 1984 World Series, The NPSL All Star game in 1995, the MISL All Star game in 2002 and 2 events, gymnastics and baseball, at the 1996 Olympic Games.
Mom worked for many years as the office manager at Cary Simon Construction. She loved her job and enjoyed the many people she worked with in and out of the office. It's a home office and she often spoke fondly of not just her boss, Cary, but the good relationship she had with his wife Andi and his mother and step dad, Lori and Joe. There is a picture in her computer room of "her boys," Gene, Mike and David, Cary's sons, who were like grandsons to her, in her heart.
Mom was a member of Mensa, with a 132 IQ that ranks in the top 2% of the world. Father Ballien of Holy Family Catholic Church in Novi, MI, put it so poignantly when he spoke of her at the funeral mass, saying that with a mind that vast she could have done anything she wanted, but she chose pursuits that nurtured her family, embraced her friends and brought good feelings to others.
There were two songs played at the prayer service for her before the funeral mass. Kansas' "Dust In The Wind," was a song that she considered the quintessential message about the reality of life and our time on earth. She had said about fifteen years ago that when her time came, she wanted that song played at her memorial service because it was the most appropriate she had ever heard. "Boat On The River," by Styx was not only her favorite song by her favorite band, it symbolized for her the very essence of her spirit. She had an affinity with water and always said she felt most ft peace and centered with the world sitting near a river, lake or the ocean. "All roads lead to tranquility base, where the frown on my face disappears." I rest assured knowing the choice of music restored the smile that she didn't make a huge effort to show cameras but was truly beautiful when it was sincere.
She was a wonderful and multifaceted woman whose tastes were as diverse as the people she loved. To say she will be missed is an understatement, but I truly believe that the world is just a bit richer for having her here for 58 years of God's master plan. I was also corrected for that past tense at the church on the morning she was put to rest. Mom is all around us. Her spirit is in paradise and her essence is in everything the people who she touched do. I was so moved to realize just how many people that includes.
Pardon my indulgence as I use my personal nick name for Mom: Thanks Fluff, for being my mother, my teacher, my conscience and my friend. We always agreed that no matter how small the contact, everyone who touches your life adds to who you are. Thanks to all of you for being part of making her who she was. We did a great job.
Love,
Davonna